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Posts tagged ‘divorce’

Listening to Yourself: During Divorce or Any Other Time, Be Your Own Best Adviser

Going through a divorce, you usually do best if you have a team to help you get through the process. Possible members of that team might be your attorney, your accountant, your friends, your family and even your coach and/or your therapist.  Ideally, every one of these people has an expertise and plays an important role informing you and helping you. It is important to listen to your team members. However, in the end, the most important member of your team for you to listen to is you. After all, it is your life you are putting back together. Your sense of your best interests is paramount.

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Don’t Let Your Feelings Drive the Bus: Better to let Your “Wise Mind” Take Charge During and After Your Divorce

Divorce/divorcing can bring out intense unresolved feelings.  During the process and afterward, it is not unusual to feel anger, hurt and sadness.  Guilt and blame may be strong.  In addition, there is normal grieving over the loss of our dream of how we thought the relationship and our life would be.  With all this emotion and intensity, we can lose our perspective as to what is in our best interests or, for that matter, our children’s best interests.

During life transitions such as divorce when we are feeling upset and highly emotional, basic survival instincts kick in.  We go into “fight or flight.” We may perceive a threat to our survival.  Realistically, often in divorce, we are actually facing high stakes and potential losses of all kinds.  Fear is understandable.

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