Valentine’s Day is upon us. It certainly can be an emotional time for people who are divorced, especially those who have not found or even looked for somebody else to love. Unfortunately, some divorced women may find themselves still longing for the man who left them behind. Ironic, isn’t it? Someone deeply hurt you and you still think about and even want that person back. What is it about some of us that makes us so prone to spending precious time and energy longing for someone who left us?
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It’s summer! The kids are on vacation from school. Depending on your divorce decree/separation agreement, your kids may be spending the summer or part of it with their dad. How do you feel about that? Hopefully, you have a good relationship with their dad and the kids are totally comfortable with him and his family so you feel good about it. While you may miss them, time for yourself can sound pretty good.
That’s the ideal. Even if the circumstances are less than ideal, it is very important that you handle kids’ time with their dad with grace and ease. Read more
It is important to be clear minded and grounded as you deal with divorce related matters. A simple way to help yourself get there is developing the habit of taking a walk every day. Ideally, you have thirty minutes a day for your walk. However, twenty minutes and even ten minutes can be very helpful.
Walking helps reduce anxiety. Walking in the woods or in some other natural setting helps reduce it even more. Part of this is that moving large muscles in a somewhat unpredictable way (playing basketball, dancing and even walking along a varied terrain) helps us release tension more effectively .
Don’t Let Your Feelings Drive the Bus: Better to let Your “Wise Mind” Take Charge During and After Your Divorce
Divorce/divorcing can bring out intense unresolved feelings. During the process and afterward, it is not unusual to feel anger, hurt and sadness. Guilt and blame may be strong. In addition, there is normal grieving over the loss of our dream of how we thought the relationship and our life would be. With all this emotion and intensity, we can lose our perspective as to what is in our best interests or, for that matter, our children’s best interests.
During life transitions such as divorce when we are feeling upset and highly emotional, basic survival instincts kick in. We go into “fight or flight.” We may perceive a threat to our survival. Realistically, often in divorce, we are actually facing high stakes and potential losses of all kinds. Fear is understandable.