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Welcome to Women Re-Emerging: Coaching for Divorce!
This site is for women who are dealing with divorce and its aftermath. No matter where you are in the transition from marriage to post-divorce, I can help you find your footing and move forward. You can become one of a growing number of happy and healthy Women Re-Emerging from divorce.
Stages
Whether you initiate a separation/divorce or your spouse leaves you, you will probably experience 1) Denial, 2) Contemplation, 3) Planning, 4) Taking Action/Moving through the legal process and 5) Recovery/Re-Emerging. As a Certified Divorce Coach, I support and assist women in all of these stages helping them get organized, gain clarity, pursue their goals and get a start on creating their own happiness.
Denial
You know something is wrong but you are not sure exactly what it is. You know it has to do with the marriage but you are not at all clear what you want. All you know is that at times you are unhappy. What you are needing is greater awareness and clarity as to what the problem is. Working in this stage does not automatically lead to divorce. In fact, it may lead to better communication skills, greater assertiveness and a better relationship.
Contemplation
If you remain unhappy and feel you have tried your best to solve marital problems, it is natural to contemplate separation. This may be an easy decision or it may not. Complicating factors can be children, finances, religious beliefs, low self-esteem, dependency, emotional attachments and emotional conflicts. If your spouse has left, then you are probably still left contemplating how best to proceed given the various complications in your life. Support, building awareness, prioritizing, gathering information (ex. consulting with an attorney about your rights and state law concerning divorce) and concentrating on being more independent are all part of the work at this stage.
Planning
If you have made up your mind, it is important to determine your direction, set up goals and move forward step by step. Issues to consider are when to separate, how, safety concerns, children, childcare, finances/budgeting, time management, hiring an attorney or mediator, developing a support system and taking care of yourself. You need support, clarity of thought, clear priorities, organizational abilities and stress management.
Action/Moving Through the Legal Process
You separate. If you are lucky enough to have an amicable divorce, this stage is relatively easy. However, the majority of divorces are to some degree adversarial. Your stress level probably goes up as you move into action. Hopefully, you are comfortable with your attorney and you are able to manage your way through negotiations or even a trial. The rules have changed and it is important to recognize that you have a different kind of relationship with your spouse. You need to manage your emotions and your behavior. The best interests of the children are now paramount. You need support, stress management, self-discipline, clear thinking especially about your priorities and as much inner peace as you can find.
Recovery/Re-Emerging
An unsuccessful marriage and/or difficult divorce can have many negative effects on a woman. If you are one of these women, you are faced with finding ways to transform these negatives into positives. You may need to rediscover your strengths, reconnect with yourself and start thinking about the next phase of your life. If you have lost a sense of who you are, what you need and how to move forward in a positive direction, it is important to start taking better care of yourself and envisioning the life you want. After divorce, coaching is about renewing and empowering yourself. This is the chance you get to follow your dreams and transform your life.
REMEMBER: You can contact me at any point in your transition from marriage to post-divorce. I am happy to start where ever you are.
What I Offer
I have been trained in both divorce coaching and in positive psychology life coaching. With this background along with my previous training as a psychotherapist, I am able to provide support and guidance as you go through your divorce and begin to put your life back together.
Through positive psychology life coaching, I can work with you 1:1 as an individual and/or as part of a group of women. In addition, I provide divorce related educational training seminars presented by myself and various experts. I provide you with a safe space to feel supported, take care of yourself, gain self-esteem, cope, face the realities of your situation, learn about your options, make thoughtful decisions, gain closure, begin to envision the next phase of your life, set goals and move forward. See “Services” tab for more details.
What Is Certified Divorce Coaching?
Certified Divorce Coaching is a well-established and respected coaching model tailored to the special needs of persons going through divorce. Training includes a comprehensive overview of the divorce process with a focus on the skills, ethics and complexities associated with this specific type of coaching. Certification is dependent on meeting all training criteria and demonstrating proficiency in this field. See www.certifieddivorcecoach.com for more information.
What is Positive Psychology Life Coaching?
Positive Psychology Life Coaching is an approach to helping people based on the work of Martin Seligman Ph.D. who developed positive psychology. This type of life coaching helps clients identify their strengths. Using powerful questions, coaches like myself, help clients determine what goals they want to pursue and how to achieve them. The coach assumes that the client is healthy, creative, resourceful, and knows all the answers. The coach plays an important role in guiding the client to find answers and be accountable for progress.
PLEASE NOTE: The work I do related to this web site is LIFE COACHING, NOT PSYCHOTHERAPY. For the differences between coaching and psychotherapy, see the menu above for the “differences between coaching and psychotherapy” tab.